Time for thought
by 0Mementovivere0
Summary: Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires.


**Title:** Time for thought

**Author:** Macavity

**Disclaimer: **The world's almost mine, but The Mentalist isn't just yet. Also, ideas of time are from one of my favourite books, "Einstein's dreams" by Alan Lightman; I used some concepts and gave them my own interpretation. Except for the last line, because it's my favourite quote from the book.

**Summary: **The Mentalist meets Quantum Physics - what if time was circular? Or if there was no past?

**Special thanks to:** Iloveplotbunnies and Mosie, for their awesomeness in beta'ing.

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**Time for thought.**

_Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires._ ~Charles Caleb Colton

XXX

"Do you believe in time traveling, Cho?"

"Nah."

"Not at all?"

"Perhaps only in traveling forward in time."

Rigsby was intrigued, "why?"

"Have you ever seen anyone from the future?"

"No, but I believe that if you can travel to the future, you can travel to the past. Jane, what do you think?"

"Jane?" Rigsby repeated.

"Huh?" The call of his name startled him; he was on his sofa, lost in thought and wasn't paying attention to the boys.

"Do you believe in time travel?"

"Interesting question," Jane answered, as he moved to a sitting position "I guess it depends whether you believe in the many-world theory or the collapsing wave theory."

"I'm out," Cho got up and got his jacket.

Jane's answer got Rigsby excited, "I know, in the multiple world theory, you have to let go of time as a continuum. Past - Present - Future doesn't exist in that order. It can exist simultaneously, in parallel. Every possible outcome of our decisions exists, we are just not aware of them. When time traveling, you don't exactly travel through time, but through parallel universes. This way you can't create a paradox - you're not in your own world, or time, to begin with."

"Well done, I'm impressed."

"Hi guys, what are you talking about?" Van Pelt walked into the office.

"Rigsby just explained how time traveling would be possible in the many-worlds theory. Next he'll tell us why time traveling isn't likely in the collapsing wave theory."

"Interesting stuff," Van Pelt replied, and continued "I've done some research on the subject in my spare time, and doesn't the collapsing wave theory state that there are a multitude of possibilities to create multiple worlds, but that upon observation, only one actually happens and the other possibilities just collapse?"

"That is exactly what happens, perhaps you would like to explain why time traveling isn't likely in this theory?" The conversation was starting to amuse Jane.

"Well, the theory doesn't state that it isn't possible, it's just extremely difficult. Past-Present-Future are static because there's only one reality, one world. If time traveling would be possible, it could create extreme paradoxes - imagine traveling back in time and making sure your parents don't meet to conceive you. You know, like Back to the Future. To avoid these paradoxes, some scientists think that there are laws that prevent time traveling from being possible..."

"Why are you guys still here?" Lisbon came walking into the office, unaware she interrupted Van Pelt, "we closed the case, go home!"

"Why are you still here?" Jane asked, trying to make her see the irony of her own question.

Lisbon hesitated, "I had to pick up some paperwork that need to go to the DA's office first thing tomorrow. Where's Cho?"

"Right here" Cho came walking in, carrying five pizza boxes "Thought that all the time talk would make you guys hungry, besides, it's closed case tradition".

"Time talk?" Lisbon asked, confused.

Jane smiled, "Yes, time's a funny thing," and couldn't help thinking of his wife and child.

XXX

"What if time was a visible dimension; you could choose to travel to any time, at any time. As easily as we travel in three dimensions, we could travel in four. You could travel to the distant past, near future, anywhere. However, you can travel there, but you can't change anything."

"Where would you travel to, Jane?" Lisbon asked, even though she could guess his answer.

"I'd travel back to where it all went wrong..."

This wasn't the answer she expected, so she remained silent, and Jane continued,

"I have so many good memories of my family, I could travel to anyone time; when I met my wife for the first time, she looked so beautiful," Jane paused, "I could travel to when my little girl took her first steps, spoke her first words, or when she learned to play the piano. I'd give anything to hear them play the piano together again. Just once more," Jane paused again, cleared his throat and continued in a harsher tone, "But I'd also go back to the moment Red John murdered them."

"Isn't that a bit masochistic?" Rigsby asked, horrified by the thought of choosing to watch someone he loved slaughtered in front of his eyes, without being able to interfere.

"I need to know what happened, I need to know they didn't suffer, I need to know they were asleep."

"but what if they weren't?" Jane's answers were still mystifying Rigsby.

"Sometimes it's worse to live in the dark. For the past seven years I have been wondering what happened; I've studied the pictures, spoke to numerous professionals and in my mind ran through countless possibilities. And I still don't know. It haunts me. I'd give my life to know what happened to them, what they went through in those final moments of their lives, even if it would devastate me."

Rigsby started to understand, "No more 'what ifs', no more uncertainty"

"Exactly."

XXX

"What if there were no 'what ifs', what if there was no uncertainty; what if time was rigid and everything is fixed," Rigsby could see the team looking at him, waiting for him to explain his theory.

"Everything happens because it is supposed to happen, you choose a job not because you had the choice, but because it's supposed to be that way."

"So, a time in which everything is pre-determined?" Cho asked.

"Yes, a world in which life is determined at birth; the school you go to, the job you have, the person you're going to marry."

"That's depressing mate."

"Maybe, but you wouldn't have uncertainty, you wouldn't have regrets. If everything is determined, you cannot make the wrong choice. You wouldn't wonder 'what if I went to medical school instead of law school', because you never had the choice. You would never regret not going to medical school if you went to law school, because you never had the choice. You'd never think of a life in which you made different choices, a life in which the girl of your dreams chose you instead of your careers; there are no what ifs, there are no regrets," Rigsby paused, and tried to catch Van Pelt's eyes, but she didn't reciprocate.

Lisbon continued before Rigsby could, "but what about crime? You commit a crime because you were supposed to commit a crime. How can you be held responsible for something that is determined to happen?"

"Mmm..yes, that too - there is no right and wrong as we know it; right or wrong requires freedom of choice. There is no freedom of choice in a world that is determined, therefore there is no responsibility..."

"...everyone is free in a world without freedom," Cho added, he was actually starting to enjoy the conversation.

XXX

He continued, "ok, what if time was circular?"

"Circular?" Van Pelt asked, trying to mingle in the conversation a bit more.

"Yup, circular; a time that repeats itself endlessly; you are born, you go to school, you get a job, you marry, you retire, you die, and then you do it all over again."

"Talking about depressing mate."

"Why? You wouldn't remember - everyone is unaware of the fact that time is repeating itself."

Lisbon was confused, "so that's it?"

"Pretty much, there's freedom of choice, but you made certain decisions for a reason, and because you don't remember the outcome of those decisions when you made them the previous time, you'll make the same decision again. You take the same job, marry the same person, retire, die, and then you do it all over again."

XXX

"Speaking of being unaware, of not remembering," Lisbon said, trying to break the silence that came upon them, "Imagine a time without past. The past exists, but loses reality. People forget the past as if it never happened."

"That sounds blissful," Van Pelt said.

"Maybe, maybe not. Without memory, we would wake up in oblivion each morning. We wouldn't remember the dread or joy from the previous day. We wouldn't remember our loved ones, we would remember what they did to us," She paused, not sure whether she wanted to open up this much, "my dad would never have abused my brothers and I, because he would never have started drinking to cope with the loss of his wife, my mother. He simply would have forgotten her and moved on with his life."

"But you wouldn't remember your mother," Jane added, without expecting her to answer.

She forced a smile, "there are books, diaries, written words that remind us of a time we no longer remember. Some read them, every morning, to remember what their life was like. To learn who to love, who to hate; not because that is how they feel, but because it's written down in words. Those words are their guide, and they live by them, every day."

Cho got curious, "what about people who don't read those books?"

"They live each day as if it's their first, wake up by a sun they have never seen before, feel the touch of water on their bodies as if they have never felt it before. They may fall in love, touch and be touched like it's their first time. Or they may lose a loved one and grief like they have never grieved before. For tomorrow, they will forget."

"What would you choose? Would you read the books or live like a tabula rasa?" Rigsby asked.

Lisbon thought about her mom, her brothers, her childhood, her work, Jane, Bosco, "Honestly... I don't know," she said softly.

XXX

"How do you imagine time, Grace?" Jane asked, trying to steer the conversation away from Lisbon.

She hesitated, "I imagine a time in which cause and effect are erratic, cause doesn't necessarily precede effect; effect could be in the past and cause in the future.."

"That doesn't make much sense," Rigsby interrupted.

"shush," she said, and continued, "It could be that one day the armed forces are doubled, more police is visibly posted in the streets. A month later a crime spree hits town; robberies, rapes, murders. Sometimes you cannot be sure which is cause and which is effect, which was action and which was reaction?"

It confused Rigsby, "still a bit complicated."

Grace sighted, and as she proceeded, she kept her eyes fixed at him, "in an acausal world, everyone lives in the moment; present actions need not be weighted for their consequence, as they could be consequences themselves. Every act is judged only at that moment. It's a world of impulse. It is a world in which every word spoken speaks just to that moment, every glance given has only one meaning, each touch has no past or future, each kiss becomes a kiss of immediacy."

XXX

They all sat there, in silence...

Time passing by...


End file.
